Tricks of Consciousness Pt. 2: Moving in Mysterious Ways

September 21st, 2015

 

 


 

 

 

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.

It is the source of all true art and science

-Albert Einstein

 

 

Last week, in part one (link here) we looked at the curious case of a woman with a history of sexual assault being surprised by her emotional and physical reactions when witnessing a similar event in a movie. We used it as a springboard to revisit some of the key principles of Conscious Health and how every experience may be used as grist for the mill of our personal evolution.

 

Book Cover. Author, David Gordon

Book Cover. Author, David Gordon

 

This week we will endeavour to get to the bottom of this mystery by journeying down into that often hidden cellar of our sexual centre. You may also remember from part one how the speed or frequency of sexual consciousness was the fastest of the five centres of the Gnostic/mystery schools model. This meant our long-suffering, slower intellectual centre usually found itself the last to know just what was going on. Time to get up to speed then…

 

 

 

Finding our centre – or our centre finding us?

 

So what are the deeper roles of all these centres?: To make what is unconscious in us conscious of course. Let us return to my friend’s predicament. One might be forgiven for assuming that anyone who has experienced sexual assault would be negatively triggered through witnessing a recreation of it in a movie. Her reaction was the opposite. She became equal parts sexually aroused and confused.

 

 

Imagine for a moment her position. Back at the time of her sexual assault her mind and body suddenly had to deal with a myriad of reactions – fear, pain, confusion, denial, shock, powerlessness, anger and so on. One way we deal with trauma is to simply shut it out or off.

 

denial

 

 

The buck stops here

 

Try to empathise with our hard-working consciousness for a moment. Remember, it now has the task of convincing its owner to open up to what has been actively repressed. Do you think that is an easy job? One by one each centre tries to reopen this cold case back into conscious awareness but is denied.

 

 

The intellectual centre doesn’t want to think about it. The emotional centre doesn’t want to feel anything to avoid pain. The motor centre doesn’t want to relive the trauma. The first instinct is to run away from dealing with our sexuality altogether. That just leaves the sexual centre itself.

 

 

Imagine for a moment that you are the personification of the sexual centre. This closed, unresolved case file lands on your desk. All the other centres have tried and failed so now it’s up to you to try and stir this person to reopen the case and work to resolve it. How do you do it?

 

 

The simple answer is to use the only tools we have that will grab their attention: sexual desire. Triggering sexual desire when the subject of sexual assault comes up (via the film scene in this case) certainly achieved that goal here. But now the real work begins: How do you make them understand what that is really all about?

 

 

We can appreciate the sexual centre’s dilemma: it is the fastest centre trying to communicate with the slowest centre – our intellectual understanding. It’s a thankless task trying to get through to someone who is equal parts trying to escape into distraction and yearning to open up again. That’s some contradiction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Playing tricks

 

A secondary problem she reported was the continuing unwanted amorous attentions of her business clients. Where she felt she was being friendly but professional in her meetings, many of her clients mistook this as romantic interest and an invitation.

 

 

“What can I do? I don’t want to just shut my whole personality down to avoid being misunderstood. I enjoy my work. Why can’t people see me as I am?”

 

 

The answer to this is they are seeing her as she is – well, at least they are seeing the part of her that is hungry for attention and not being satisfied through the usual channels.

 

 

 A duck on the head

 

© Michael Leunig

© Michael Leunig

 

We looked at this concept in another blog (here is the link). It outlined how things that are unconscious in us may nevertheless be quite obvious to others. In her case, her sexual centre was starved for attention after being repressed for so long and looking to change that without her even being aware of it.

 

 

Although it is often said we are all unique individuals we are still part of collective consciousness. Part of this are the many archetypical roles we play and participate in. One thing that has plagued many women in a patriarchal society has been the over-emphasis of just two of the many possible female archetypes: The Mother and the Lover (a.k.a.: ‘The Madonna and the Whore’; ‘The Queen and the Concubine’ and so on). Indeed, the pigeonholing of a woman’s role into this limiting, binary split has been one motivator for the rise of the feminist movement and the cultural shift of gender roles we have seen as a result.

 

 

 

 

 

 “I’m Every Woman” [1]

 

 

Within us exists a myriad of archetypical roles waiting to be played out when the moment arises. Yes, we are all unique snowflakes but we are not that original in terms of the platform from which we express ourselves. All of them need attention from time to time. They need their time to shine. Like a small child that is denied attention, they can find some creative ways to wrest that attention back. From this perspective, even negative attention is better than none.

 

 

And so it was here that this young woman had become stuck. While she had created a career of stimulating, creative work, a large group of friends and a supportive, caring relationship, she was in denial of her sexuality. Because it was being repressed it started to wander outside its purely sexual playground and into other social contexts to find attention.

 

 

 

Remember from last week that:

 

  • Our unconscious side is always trying to become conscious.
  • It is creative in finding ways to do so
  • We usually experiences those creations as discomfort or suffering until we become conscious of what they are all about

 

 

This is why this young woman began to experience some of those “Why is this always happening to me?!” moments as her sexuality was awakening again and daring to adventure out into the world. Because it was unconscious she was not aware that it was there for others to see – like a duck on her head or a neon sign. While others reacted to it she remained genuinely confused.

 

 

 

 Good girls and bad boys

 

Book cover. Author, Abbi Glines

Book cover. Author, Abbi Glines

 

A repressed sensual/sexual side can try and make itself heard and seen through creating other ‘problems’ for us:

 

  • ‘Good girl/bad girl’ and ‘good guys/bad boys’ splits. This is where the moral mind, ruled by what ‘should’ be is regularly confused and overruled by the sexual centre that wants a more intense experience. The ‘bad’ part in them and their partners represents the part they have repressed in themselves.

 

 

  • The problem lies in their assumptions. “I cannot experience my unfettered sexuality with a ‘good’ woman/man.” – an assumption that moral maturity is essentially dull. Instead they project their sexuality onto the bad boy/girl (notice how these common terms denote a younger/more immature version of these gender roles?) – and feel they need such partners to be fulfilled.

 

 

  • It has not occurred to them to make the relationship they are in more sensual by being honest with themselves and their partner about their needs and desires. They just assume that they won’t be fulfilled in that context. Conversely, they assume that anyone they might find sexually compatible must, by default, be terrible relationship material.

 

 

  • The split in them is projected out into the world and comes back as a self-fulfilling prophecy. One split leads to another and leads to a duplicitous life.

 

 

 

 Body ‘receipts’

 

If deeper parts within our body work so much faster than our mind it might be time to check in there to see what it is saying. Here is a simple practice:

 

Whenever we take any action, do a quick ‘system check’ through the body and observe what we are feeling. Do we tense up and rationalise it away to ourselves and others? Do we feel relief and lightness even though our old programming thinks this ‘not allowed’?

 

Later, our discriminating intellect (of course it always comes in later…) may reflect upon just what this relief or tension may mean. Are we relieved because we satisfied a desire or because we are following our heart? These are not necessarily mutually exclusive of course.

 

We can also observe our mind. Is it working overtime to justify our actions and tell us they are OK and we are fine or is it simply enjoying them? Both outwardly express the same idea but the energy is vastly different and should not be too hard to feel once we start looking.

 

 

 

Back to the Self

 

All of our dramas are really about one thing. To show our Self to ourselves. A split mind will find endless ways to screw up. Sooner or later however, we cannot help but come back to the Self, waiting patiently to welcome us with unconditional love like a sitting Buddha in the flames of our heart.

 

Our whole journey is to become our authentic self. Of course, we are already but trying telling that to all the ‘I’s running around in our head. When we are tired of  starting fires everywhere however our Self catches up with us – by being there when we stop splitting ourselves into pieces.

 

Then we won’t give a duck on the head about our sexuality or anything else

 

 

 

 

 

 

Till the mysterious ways of another Monday are revealed to us

 

 

[1] ‘I’m Every Woman’. Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson. Warner Bros. 1978

 

 

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© Jeremy Halpin all rights reserved. Images are the author’s own unless otherwise indicated or the original owner is unknown. You can subscribe to this blog by clicking the button in the bottom right hand corner of the page – or share it on the social media of your choice. If you have any wishes or questions regarding subjects to be discussed on this blog use the contact information below. Jeremy is also available for seminars, lectures and personal consultation: info@jeremyhalpin.com

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